it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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