he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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