I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
