When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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