I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
