I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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