she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize