She is in my trunk
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
