Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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