I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
