Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
