omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
