I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
