I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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