I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
