I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
3 2 1 whiskey
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
