So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
