I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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