Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
