Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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