biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You ruined the universe
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
