Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
