Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
