Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
