just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
