I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize