You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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