wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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