so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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