It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
