Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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