I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Someone signed my nipple.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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