I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
