This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
