who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
