Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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