Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
