i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
