i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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