I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
