I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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