Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
