So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
