Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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