so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
