Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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