I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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