Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
