You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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