I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
