Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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