C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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